Friday/Day #1

Day 1: Seattle, WA to Boise, ID

Friday was hard. I only got about 5 hours of sleep and had to finish cleaning and closing up my apartment, get on the road by 9:30 so I could make it to Boise in time for dinner, and try to check in with work during my lunch pit-stop.

I took a “moment” right before I left my apartment for good. I looked outside at the city but it was blanketed in some of the densest fog I’ve ever seen in the summer. It’s like it was hiding from me, shielding me from its beauty and appeal. “No, Eme Ashe. I’m not here for you anymore.” I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, smiled, and left. My usual route to the freeway just didn’t feel right so I opted for the on-ramp less traveled. I did have a moment of fear and sadness but it was brief.

The particular on-ramp I chose isn’t really an on-ramp, it’s basically a street, a stoplight, and then BAM, you’re on the freeway. It’s what I needed, like diving into the deep end of a pool, rather than starting with one toe, or one tire in this case. Just before I went through the stoplight, when I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it or if it was going to turn red, my moment started. An involuntary surge of emotion rose up from my stomach into my chest and head. It was the same feeling of fear, uncertainty, and excitement I felt as a child when it was my turn to slide down the water slide. Sitting at the top, waiting for the child who went before me to hit the water alive, I would be feeling all of those emotions. The lifeguard would signal and then I was off. Well, the light stayed green and I was off.

I merged onto I-5 and immediately started bawling. It just happened, I couldn’t help it. Even though the fog was working overtime to hide the city from me, I knew it was still there. 9 years of memories flooded over me in 9 seconds. But by the time I merged onto I-90, a mere mile later, I was fine. It was just a moment. I had a few more of those moments as I drove to Boise and I’m sure many will follow in the future. It’s more than fine, I am allowed to be sad. I am happy I feel sad. I don’t feel sick and that is a good thing. When I left Seattle the last time I felt like I was going to throw up as I drove over Snoqualmie Pass. No such feeling this time. I took in the beauty of the mountains for one last time and barely noticed when I reached the summit. It’s over.

My first destination was Boise because it gave me the opportunity to visit with some friends, T and C, say goodbye, and as a bonus, it was on the way! C made us all a delicious dinner – the man was smoking chicken on one charcoal grill and grilled vegetables on the BBQ, all while making me margaritas. Then he did the dishes! Seriously, what a catch. Unfortunately, with the small amount of sleep, the stress of the day, being taxed from the drive, and well, a margarita or two, I was only awake at their house for a few hours. I don’t remember falling asleep. Bed, pillow, head, out.