The old man, the cat, and the spider.

I noticed this before. Months and months ago. One of the townhouses on my street left the garage door open about 6 inches at the bottom. I assumed it was for a cat. After all, in every other place I have lived that would be the case. Maybe it is. But today I doubted my assumption. As I turned my car onto my street, air conditioning blasting in the 90+ degree heat, I saw upwards of 5 houses with their garage doors “cracked.” Huh. Did everyone get a cat recently? Is a cat the traditional Independence Day gift in the south for old folk? No…I didn’t think so.

It’s hot. Our garages are not heated or cooled. Therefore, when it is 90 degrees outside, our garages are about 190 degrees. The old men and women are cooling off their garages, not their cats. Brilliant. Maybe I should do the same.

This weekend I performed some maintenance in my garage. I vacuumed up the leaves and dirt and dead bugs and spiders. Then I went back in for more spiders and the spiders that had died in the webs of the spiders that were still alive. I shuddered.

I’m shuddering now.

I was wearing gloves and armed with poison and a Shop Vac AND a Dyson. Really Eme Ashe? WTF? (Oh yeah, we all know what that stands for.) Since when is my tough, independent ass terrified of bugs and spiders, especially when I am 1000x their size and covered and armed with multiple weapons. I mean really. Jeez.

Can I say one little thing that independent, single women are not supposed to say? Just one. If I had a man in my life he would be killing the spiders. Or at least standing next to me, cheering me on, while I did the dirty work. Sometimes, sometimes, I think, “It’s not fair. I don’t want to do this all on my own. Kill spiders, buy a house, live this life.” And then the moment passes. But sometimes that moment lingers. Or returns. And I realize, I’m human. And old. And alone. And I just have to allow myself to be human. And old. And alone.

Then the lingering moment passes. And I kill a spider. And buy a house. And a grill. And maybe a dog. And then…well, I’ll probably kill more spiders until I find someone to kill them for me. Or with me. Then we’ll grow old together. And air out our garage, all the while wondering how the neighborhood cats keep getting into our house. Hey, at least the cats will start killing the spiders.